Really... detach... LRT... 180s... GAL... DBing... it is ALL ABOUT YOU! The person who is reading the book, following the DB principals, and wanting to save their M.
DBing is not at all focused on the other spouse. There are simply examples of, "When non-DBing spouse is acting [this way] or saying [these things], the DBing spouse may get positive, personal results by [doing this]."
You mentioned in the previous post about how DB/DR appears to "be a certain way". The truth is, as I mentioned above, DBing is a tool to help the spouse who is trying to save or improve an M.
Unfortunately, many of the people who pick up the book or find themselves here are pretty much at the "do or die" stage... so LRT is often the prescribed material.
While the books refer a lot to both spouses being in the same home, it does not mean that has to be the case for a technique to be effective. It just means that the technique may take a little longer to be noticed.
There is certainly allowance for fairly liberal interpretation of the books. No, DBing and the books aren't for the person who stayed in the house or the person who was betrayed. Plenty of people who have had As have used DBing effectively. Plenty of WAS are using DBing effectively...
Hope that makes sense and is helpful in some way. Keep asking questions as you need them clarified. Hopefully if I am off on anything, someone else will pop in and set the record straight...
