Hye NM, the effects of detaching can show up as spew from our WASs.
What I mean by in a sense is, they aren't necessarily angry at us because we are detaching, per say. They are unlikely to even understand that is what we are doing.
If we don't react to the normal buttons, our spouses are not getting their expected results. We are acting differently and it is frustrating, because they are likely pushing our buttons to get the negative reactions so they can continue to justify not wanting to be with us.
As we detach, we are likely to be generally "happier", which to our WASs, likely means we are cold and callous, because how could we be happy when our M is breaking down?
In our detachment, we are likely to be more outgoing and doing GAL stuff... this could have an effect of, how dare we do things without them, we must be cold, callous, and uncaring, no wonder why they are leaving us...
And the 180s... well, they can't be real... they MUST be some form of manipulation to get them back... and they won't stick, anyhow...
And in the end, if they are noticing our changes, then their anger may come out at us, not because they are mad at us, but because maybe... just maybe... they could have been wrong about us and their decision...
The counselor pretty much echos what you will often hear on this board. It is not that we want the A rubbed in our faces, but they are likely to take the affair deeper under ground so that it will be very difficult for us to know if it ends... which can be very beneficial to our sitchs, of course...
Also, telling our spouses that the M would be over if there was an A... well... if we don't file D when we find out about the A... what does that say about us meaning what we say?
