Separation, Moved back in, still ILYBNILWY

[tenbusrider]

I've been thinking about my sitch more and more today (I guess that goes for pretty much everyone). A part of W's disorder leaves her exhausted pretty much all of the time. I just wonder if detaching is appropriate right now with her pending treatment, or if I'm just making excuses.

How do I balance detaching with being there at times when she really needs it? Thinking back on this weekend, I did make a pretty big doormat out of myself, but it's habitual to ask if she needs anything when I go out. Since our finances are still in the same bank account, I'm not really using my money to buy things she wants, but normally it's just groceries, anyway.

Am I misunderstanding the purpose of detaching? We're pretty amicable most of the time, there's just no R talk. It's only come up once since she's moved back in, and only hinted at in obtuse ways since then.

Dang, the more I think about this, the more I realize I have no clue what I should be doing. It seemed easier a few days ago.