Thank you for sharing your examples. I feel like I have said bits and pieces of it before, so he knows how I feel and what I want. I don't think I'm in a position to talk about it again as it might come across as pursuing. Although maybe a well thought out letter that lists everything that I had tried to tell him in one place would be good. I'll have to give it some thought though, I'd want to make sure it's done right.
There is no doubt that H is suffering and is confused. I suppose if it was that easy, he'd be gone already, but there must be something that is still keeping him at home. I'd say maybe S4 is the reason, but he's got so little patience with him and I can see him get frustrated and irritated when S4 doesn't do something right away, talk too loud, doesn't sit still, etc. He's always got something to complain about. He said that he doesn't want to be here. If that's the case, why is he still here?
While it makes sense that his questions might be a positive, I'm still having a hard time seeing that it is positive, maybe just "neutral". I guess maybe I'm not trying to get my hopes up too high.
Yesterday was uneventful. I did not end up cooking dinner, just had leftovers. H came home late anyway, so S4 and I had already eaten. I think if I had cooked something special, then I would have been disappointed when H came home late. Earlier in the day he emailed and asked if I wanted a movie for last night. I replied by saying "Sure, that would be nice". Then he emailed back saying "Ok, go get it then." So I did, and we watched it together in silence, and then I went to bed. This morning we both took S4 to soccer, but then H wanted to be dropped off at home because he has a cold and didn't feel well. I've made him a few cups of tea with honey throughout the day, but trying not to come across as too caring or smothering...just letting him be.
I took S4 ice skating today. It was his first time on ice. We had a blast. S4 wants to be a hockey player now. I asked H if he wanted to come, but he said he had a headache. I didn't expect him to come anyway, but I thought I'd ask.
