Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

My brain is a muddled mess -- but perhaps this is a good thing. Perhaps this is the "rebound" relationship where I start to realize what it is I actually want from someone.

I have been pretty desperate to find someone. Now I have found someone who wants to be with me ... and I'm pulling away.

I just don't like complications and she's presenting me with several.

The latest is happening as I type. I have tonight free and her son is with her dad so we are going out and she WAS going to stay the night and go to church with me in the morning.

This is something we planned a few weeks ago and since I've been more and more ambivalent about the whole thing.

I am supposed to pick her up in an hour. She just texted me that her niece is getting baptised tomorrow and she wants to talk me into going to her sister's church tomorrow.

That doesn't feel right to me. I am not seeing a long-term future with this relationship and she wants me to do a family event.

So I texted back that I am not comfortable yet doing a family event.

She said fine.

I texted back that I didn't want to drag her to my church either. Is there a middle ground.

She responded that her niece wants her at the Baptism.

I texted back that perhaps she shouldn't stay the night then. That way she can just go to church with them.

She responded by saying she needs to be home at 9 p.m.

That's fine with me.

It just feels like she is continually testing my commitment. It's probably smart. I mean, with XW I jumped at the chance to meet her family. When Church_31 asked me to sit with her and her parents this summer I enthusiastically did so because I was really hoping she liked me as more than a friend.

Here? I don't want to get involved with her family because I don't think there's a future here.

Obviously, like the movie says, "I'm just not that into" her.

I'm trying to figure out why. My friends think I'm nuts and that she's perfect for me. People on here wonder why I'm dragging it out.

I'm worried part of it is me being shallow.

Another part is the "comfort" factor. I liked not having to worry about having someone to do something with.

I'm worried it's a pattern I learned from my dad. He didn't tell me who he was dating for several years and only did so because he was moving in with the lady.