111, please get some help. I have lost many friends to suicide, and I promise, PROMISE you that things will get better in time. It just takes time. Suicide is such a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You may not feel it is temporary right now and believe me I understand, but it does get easier.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤