tank... take a good hard look at the saying, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink"...
Nature is actually full of examples of this, if we look for them. Turkeys (ok, they aren't really that smart, but) will actually allow themselves to die, pining over the loss of their mate. I have literally seen this happen. No medical reason for it aside from death by dehydration/starvation. Physically placing the animals beak in water and food, trying to encourage it to save itself... no joy...
Please understand that you have given your W the food and water... she just will not eat / drink... you can not save her... just as she cannot save you, only you can do that.
You have made many, different efforts to encourage your W's R with the kids. This one may not be for you to fix... KWIM?
