The info is nice to have. But weigh the risks. Labug is right, if W ever finds out it will be a MAJOR blow to her trust and your credibility. IMO, you should suggest your W's friend stop sending you further info at least. Good luck.
Agree^^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! very important you get this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I decided to go take S for coffee and breakfast this morning - there are a million places to choose from but I felt like driving and went to a little organic market/restaurant a few miles down the road. I walk inside and guess who is sitting there with her sister? Yep - my W. S immediately sees her and says "momma!" - W's eyes lit up when she saw him.
I walked to their table and handed her the baby - she was thrilled and he was happy to see her as well. I walked to the counter and got two pastries and a cup of coffee and sat back down with them (w, her sister). We all just talked and enjoyed the morning. No R talk, no D talk....just playing with the baby and I caught up with her sister a little bit. To see S interact so happily with W made me smile - it so obvious that he loves her and vice versa. I really had forgotten that I missed their interactions so much.
It was a nice little coincidental meeting and everyone got along. Wife and her sister walked back to my car with S and me - W strapped him into his car seat and we were off.
I was initially nervous when I saw her there - but I have to say, it kind of made my morning. Don't want to get too happy about it, though.....still moving slowly.
Sounds like a great morning, Crimson! Just so I'm clear, this was a totally coincidental meeting? I'd hate for your W to think she is being manipulated. Any chance that might be the case? I'm not saying you did or she was. Just be careful. You are in a delicate place with your W at the moment and you don't want to appear as pushing too hard.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
100% coincidental. I have no clue where she is at any given moment, and she is not volunteering that information. We just chanced in for a bit to eat and there they were.
Well then, that was one great coincidence and as I said earlier, it probably was a very nice treat for your W to be able to see the little one. Hopefully she felt good seeing you as well.
I'm glad for you that your morning started out on such a positive note. Try to let that thought carry you through the next few days.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
Hi Folks. Haven't had a ton to say lately, so I have been laying low as it pertains to the board.
The weekend went pretty well - after the chance encounter with my w and her sister (see above, it was actually pleasant). Kept pretty busy with S, ran a ton of errands with him and got his hair cut. THAT was an experience - he ended up having to sit on my lap while the barber cut. He is not unlike his father - easily plyed with toys and candy.
W periodically checked in via text to see how S was doing. Asked me to send her a few pictures because she missed him - so I reponded "you got it! - give me a sec..." - talk about 180's - not long ago I probably would have told her "no - this is your decision, live with the consequences!". Man, looking in the rearview mirror I really was my own worst enemy.
Still not sure where W's head is with regard to working all of this out. We have a second session with MC on Wednesday - anyone have any suggestions on what reasonable goals would be for that one? I am nervous - and to some degree expect W to continue to let the anger out. I missed her a lot this weekend and founf myself day dreaming about life with her in the house again. Thought about all of the things I want to do differently....it's quite a list.
OH - forgot to mention my mom pulled me aside to "talk" Sunday. She and my dad kind of sense things between W and I. My mom is afraid that I am going to allow myself to be hen-pecked into submission. I reminded her that I had a role in the meltdown of my marriage and that some things I choose to keep private no matter how close she wants our family to be. She also mention her and my dad leaving soon. Looking like in the next 3-4 weeks. I can live with that. In the talk I really stood up for myself and my W. I found myself wondering as she was talking how in the h3ll does she (and my dad, for that matter) think that her level of trust in my W means anything to me? Don't egt me wrong, it was a good talk and I think I set some boundaries - but geez - it's time they realize I have a W and family and I am not 12.
Crimson - in the next MC session, let your W lead the agenda and just be your newfound self. She's like Moulder in the X-Files. She "wants to believe"!
