why did he fall in love with you in the first place?
B/C you are lovable and capable of giving love. If you truly "blew it" b/c of some unresolved insecurities
that's another reason to get help.
But HE loved you for a reason--many reasons.
Don't lose sight of those. They still exist under all your pain.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Your dog needs you! Your mum loves you and needs you. Call her and talk. As Grmpy said, Get outside and around people. If you are being treated for depression there must be someone to call and get you through this.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
You are worth it! He is not. Thinking of you! Please remember that you're worthy of love and life.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
111, Just read all of your thread this morning. It's clear that you are hurting and for that I am truly sorry.
Yes.. reach out and get help. Do you have friends or family, you can call?
When a person is in as much of pain as you.. IMO - the fog is thicker than ever.
I only say that because in the first few months of my bomb, the other side looked so clear. I had lost the woman that I loved, my hopes and dreams of children and a "happily ever after" were shattered.
And what I was seeing.. was a life that I didn't want anymore. Up until that point my life, my self worth, and my happiness were 100% wrapped up in my w.
She ignored me, I thought I deserved it. She did sh!tty things to me, I thought I was unlovable.
I didn't think my life would be better, because I thought my ONLY best was with her.
But now 9 months later, I am FINALLY coming out of my own fog. It's still painful, but I see a light at a tunnel.
Just as you can't make your SO change his perceptions, behaviors, thoughts, etc... neither do WE, on this board, have the ability to change yours.
BUT I do know that IF you put in the work, you WILL change.
IF you begin to GAL - you WILL find value in yourself and begin to believe that you deserve better.
IF you start focusing on the good relationships you have or are building - you WILL be able to notice the bad ones and how to not participate in them.
IF you reach out - people WILL come.
But the "if" is scary... because it means change. It means accepting the outcome even though you have no idea what will be.
The journey is scary and it is hard, but you do not have to go through it alone... and though you can't even begin to EVER imagine it getting better.....
....IT DOES.
Trust us! We have been there. We have taken your journey. We have put our bare feet on the hot coals.
We have been beaten and battered.. yet here we still stand.
So will you.
((( )))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
my friend's father took his life over the failure of his 3rd marriage
(rather than suffering the pain of improving as a mate)
and a bf of mine lost her son to suicide.
You have no idea what wreckage it leaves behind...please get help today.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
This is the first time I post for you. I feel your pain. We all here understand what you are saying and feeling.
Things might look hopeless, but like others here are saying, you will see things differently.
If you go outside NOW, the sun is shining, there are simple, beautiful things out there. Fresh air. Take deep breaths and just enjoy those things.
YOU ARE LOVABLE. LIVE IS WORTH LIVING. Some proof? Your dogs, your mom, and even what you have right now - a bunch of strangers, who are showing you that we care, because we are human too, and understand pain and suffering.
How amazing is it that we have the capacity of reaching out and bonding with perfect strangers that we will never meet. Yet, if you let them, they will be there for you because YOU ARE WORTH IT.
How ridiculously simple - life is full of little amazing things - they are free, they are there NOW, for you.
Please reach out, get help - we will continue being here for you!
(((((hugs)))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
111, please get some help. I have lost many friends to suicide, and I promise, PROMISE you that things will get better in time. It just takes time. Suicide is such a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You may not feel it is temporary right now and believe me I understand, but it does get easier.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
