Thank you everyone. I know suicide is a ...weird topic.
I have suffered from depression my whole life and been in active treatment for 15 years. I am on a drug protocol and in therapy that the army is providing me right now.
This all hit me like a ton of bricks this morning.
Calling 911 I don't want to do because all the neighbors will talk.
And I will continue to hold it together because it would be my Mum who found me as she is my dog walker and will be here MOnday to help me with Boo-Boo, my German Shorthaired Pointer.
I just really really hope you guys are right and that I will look back one day and be glad I'm still around. This is the first time in my life where I feel I truly have nothing to live for.
but if respecting my responsibilities is what keeps me grounded right now? I guess I will take it.
