I put all my eggs in this basket - my R, my wedding, our lives. I gave up my condo, my friends and even switched jobs so that i could be the perfect "military wife". But I wanted to do that, he didn't make me.
Then I let my insecurities pick away at a really GOOD R. The most loving R. He was so happy to have me in his life and couldn't wait to marry me. he told me this in one way or anther every single day, but I didn't believe him. I tested him, I accused him of stuff he didn't do, I broke up with him every fight we got in, and I told him I didn't need him and could walk away at any time.
We fought like this right up until the day he deployed.
No wonder he fell out of love.
True love can only be tested for so long before you say F it!
Then when the woman he met in A-Stan, I high ranking diplomat. She is worldly and rich, and younger than me, presented herself, he took it (I think... I still don't have a confirmation on that.. just a message from her to him)
A lot of what I have here is assumptions, because with him so far away I don't know.
Everytime something happens its like day one all over again.
OH and by the way.... the email he sent saying "I don't love you, I don't need you and I don't want you in my life" came after I sent him a message re: the POW. I just said her name and bascially thanked him for making it easy for me to break it off with him. I then said I was thinking of putting the dog in the kennel and leaving his house and moving out.
He never kicked me out.
It was after that final email from him that I FELT like I needed to ask permission to stay. It's called calling someones bluff and ONE too many times, and it failing, miserably.
