Forgiveness

[antlers]

I know that I only control me. I don't wanna control anyone else. OK, I'll set the example by starting to send her any info. about our son, regardless of whether she sends me info. about our daughter. And I'll have zero expectations that she'll follow suit. Knowing that I did right by them both will have to be enough.
I don't want to hope and wait for her to acknowledge anything, and then get hurt when it doesn't happen. Not anymore. I know you're saying what you do for my benefit. I need to hear it.
I know that actions speak louder than words. I need to just STFU and 'just DO it'. I do vent here, but I don't wanna stay stuck. Yeah, I'm hurt. I'm sad that my son
left. What is a 'new way' to to react to hurt? I know that reacting in a new way will be doing better.....just don't know what a new way is?
OK. I'll start setting the example of what I think co-parenting means...and have zero expectations. I just think it'd be nice for everyone involved if we didn't do battle anymore. I see very bad stuff everyday in my job...that provides enough perspective if I look for it.
There is really nothing stopping me other than me.....I have no excuses.....even though it's a hard b!tch to do!
Nah...my changes are truly because they needed to be made, period. That's been my motivation. The changes happened, and still are. Not for any reciprocity either. I work real hard at my job. I don't do it to hear a compliment from patients or family members. But when I do get some recognition for my hard work...it is nice. But I do not expect it, nor is that why I work do hard. "Swim to the other shore without looking over your shoulder to see if they're following you. It slows down your progress a lot." That's one I'll remember. Thank you.
I accept that nothing about all of this will never be even. I need to just quit talking about it, and quit thinking about it, and just let it the fuk go!
I'll model it. Fuk court...I don't ever wanna go there again.
Yes, I see how you see it. It shouldn't matter to me anymore, at all, what she thinks or feels about me. Let it go means just that.
Everybody's changed or been affected one way or another because of all of this. The best thing that I can do at this point is STFU and let everything go that i have no control over. Let my changes speak for themselves. Whether or not they're noticed or believed should be irrelevant to me. I know. I should own my happiness and it shouldn't be dependent on what anybody else thinks or feels.
I can control me. I can't control others. I can do what's right, and let others think what they will.
I intend to stop my part in that. I do not want to joust with her anymore, especially about the kids.
I'm OK there. I only want to control me.
The first time he did this he was gone 3 days. He's been gone 2 and 1/2 weeks now. that's a long time. And no communication from him either, although I've reached out twice.
The fear of a possible court battle, with the realization that I am worrying needlessly at this point, regarding custody and money...is what I was referring to.
I agree, the truth has to be enough for me. Period.
I agree, worrying about what might happen on the future does me no good. I've been mountain biking a lot with friends; going again in the morning with them. And I'm taking a group out this morning on a road ride...and we're going long. And tomorrow evening I have a dinner date with a young lady.
OK. I'll let it go, and stop myself from negative thoughts that do me no good. 'Just Do It' is a good mantra.