I've had a breakthrough in the last couple of weeks and have a confession i'd like to share here first before doing anything more .
I have control issues. I'm a fixer. I have to offer help when it isn't requested. Or make suggestions to ideas when proposed when that was not the reason for them being told to me. I do it to everyone, but I do it mostly to my wife. Over the years when she had the courage to call me on it I would hide behind saying "I'm only trying to help". While I thought so at the time I wasn't giving any consideration to her feelings, the reason she was telling me. Or even, worse blaming her with the "they're you feelings" routine and not taking any responsibilty for myself. I feel horrible. The pain in my heart the came about as this all came into perspective is almost unbearable. She tried to tell me off and on over the years and I didn't listen. I'm sure my doing this made her feel stupid, inadequate, not good enough and who knows what else, I was insensitive to her pleas and thinking of it now tears me up. I do not want to be that man. Even in the few days since I came to this, I've been in situations with others where I began to say or do something and it dawned on me I was about to do it. It was a horrible feeling understanding how that has been a part of me and how many people I must have made feel poorly. I am so sorry.
