"I have turned money down in the past and it gets forced upon me."
Nothing gets "forced" upon another person. If you don't want the money, tell them 'thank you' anyway and put it in savings for your kids. You're given something positively, but CHOOSE to see it negatively. Get it?
"I told them nothing I ended up with a playstation 3. It sat on the floor for about 3 weeks then I watched netflix on it fto pass the time. It still sits its a $400 paper weight."
It's a birthday gift. Sheesh. They have a right to give you something on your birthday. I think you still have depression issues.
"If I had my own place and another job I would not see them as much and maybe feel better about them."
Nope. You CHOOSE the way you feel. Take responsibility for it. Let me put it to you this way...you CHOOSE to treat the W nicely even though she treats you like crap. But here is your family who has given you money and gifts and you CHOOSE to put them down. Sounds pretty backwards to me.
"Its from working everyday with them hearing the arguments in the office and fighting during the holidays between my brother and sister. If my sister says the suns out my brother says no there are clouds in the sky. Its a sad way to be right now and I know if my father was alive he would not have any of it. "
You can't control your family any more than you can your W. But you can choose how you react. If the issue is between your sister and your brother, why would you let it bother you? And if you really didn't like the environment, you could have found a job anywhere. A job at McDonalds would have been better than the 'hell' that you keep claiming your family put you through. But you didn't do it. It has nothing to do with "putting up" with anything, it has to do with your own choices. YOu made the choice to work there, don't blame your siblings for how you "believed" they "made" you feel.
"I am a different person more head strong and more aggressive. "
There's a difference between being headstrong and being stubborn. A difference between being aggressive and a douche. Neither of which are attractive. Instead I would suggest that you CHOOSE to be confident in yourself. You don't need to be aggressive. All you need to be is confident in the decisions that YOU make in our life. Even if a decision is bad, you take it as a learning experience and not as a waste of time.
You're not that little kid anymore. Do you want your son to act the way you do now? Have your kids disrespect you when you want to give them a birthday gift? Model the way you want your kids to be.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.