I see you indicate that your W's complaints about you are valid. In her mind, they are. I do want to say a couple things, though:
+ did the two of you not have sex? Of course it would have been wrong, but unless you were wearing a rubber, if she really wanted kids so bad with you, she could have quit any birth control and hoped for an "accident". Unless you absolutely said, "No kids or I'm leaving you..." And I'm assuming that wasn't the case.
+ regarding cheating and affairs... here's the deal... they are symptoms of a deeper problem in a relationship... but they are NOT and excuse nor are they justifiable. Period. They are errors in judgment and signs of poor communication, sure...
Make no mistake, a WAS plans their exit strategy long before the LBS knows about it. Your W may be all back with you now because what ever she had planned didn't pan out. It is possible she is your safety net.
If she wants her cake and eats it too, then she is taking advantage of you. She loves you and wants to be with you... but isn't willing to work on the M...? OK, she's confused, sure. But what are the boundaries? She has cheated and you have taken her back. So if she cheats again... well... I'm sure you can imagine what she's thinking. Did you plan on being in an open marriage?
If you can handle it emotionally, it is a good idea for you to stay in the home. If your W wants space, then let it be on her to get her own place.
You mention jogging as a 180. I understand how you could label it as such, if you never used to job. Generally though, we might call that part of GAL (getting a life).
What GAL activities are you doing? Get yourself out and about. Dress up in your best and go see a movie. Go visit your buddies. Go to an art gallery and get some culture. Go to the dairy section of the grocery store and get some more culture...
As for 180s, buy and read (keep on your night stand) some really interesting Harlequin Romance novels...
Mix things up. You want to become a great guy that only a fool would leave. Fix your bad stuff, improve your good stuff, and your W will notice... add to that some really... interesting stuff that you're trying out... your W might even become curious about you. And hey... it could help save your M.
