I think you already know what you have to do here. Since you did chase your H a bit in the beginning, and plead, and use the "L", and were more or less needy... It's time to completely back of for a while and let him miss you. And you didn't close the door forever. If you two are still willing to talk to each other as friends even once in a while you're still good.

Follow DR and give him a few months to himself to deal with all the problems he thought he was ready for without you and don't try to pry into his life until he invites you in. I cannot stress that last part hard enough. Your H needs space and you must not ask questions about what he is doing or freely give up that info as well, the key is mystery and not jalousy. It's ok for you to miss a call once in a while and return it later that night or the next day and let him work just a little bit harder to talk with you. I know if you become too available the WAS throws breadcrumbsd and how painful it is, so stay just out of reach.

Dating isn't necessarily going to help you in any way other than put a temporary bandaid on the sting, but it can help you recreate that lot sense of attraction and get your confidence back. Now that means dating, not SEX! You don't want to manipulate anyone or bring more drama into your life and that jealousy the H may feel certainly won't guarante his respect. Trust me on this one you do not want to make this a competition over who has moved on first.

What you know you have to do is stop worrying about getting him back before the divorce and just have fun with yourself. So what if you get divorced before you get him back. You have longer than you realize afer D and an even beter chance to R with kids. Most importantly if you know you are a good person and I think you are if you're second gessing dating. Then your spouse is going to miss that person eventually. It may take a while but the quicker you get over the need to get him back by X amount of time and stop pressuring yourself the quicker you can have fun being around him as a friend.

Half of DR/DB is just getting rid of need and being patient. And the other half is believing in yourself. If you can relax I promiss you'll do better.