W racing to finish line - do I bring up OM?

[bustorama]

Thanks for the note and I hope that you are well and the doctor’s appt. was just routine.

fine

Of course, selfishly, it would have been great to see you this week, but I understand the convenience since you were down there anyway.

I want to mention that we are having the annual January birthday celebration again tomorrow night. I didn’t want to bother you or make you feel weird so I didn’t invite you, but I hope you know that you are invited as several of our friends would love to see you.

the above is total pursuit, also trying to control her emotional reaction. not at all detached.

While it took me quite a while to finally stop blaming you and start looking at my own behaviors which led to your unhappiness so that I could grow as a person, I want to make sure that you feel comfortable maintaining the friendships that you had outside of me. I know that I felt differently early on, but it is not fair for my actions to affect the friendships that you have formed over the years.

the above is both taking too much responsibility for het unhappiness and the breakdown of the m and also controlling in the sense that u want to make sure she feels a certain way. (and covertly that she not feel mad at you)
don't try to control whether she is mad or resentful at you. or comfortable around ur friends or not. let her feel what she wants to feel

why do u need to explain to her why u r hanging out w ur friends. she has dumped u and is having an a on u and lying about it. you are a grown man.

Regardless, have a nice weekend and hopefully see you next week.

second part also is pursuing.


thank her for the note, thank her.for the jewelry, wish her a great weekend, and, if u wish, mention that u will be hanging out with your friends who are in town.

Me

I've been terrible in the past with effective DB'ing and not sure if this is too much, so I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks. [/quote]