Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[Nblost]

Well, the dating issue for me is hard. It really bothered H...so I guess I got my intended effect. However, I felt like I may have closed the door too quickly on the marriage by acting like I was completely ready to move on. Overall though, I think it gave me some confidence and I needed the break from feeling like I was being crushed emotionally.

I've told him that I'd never see this new guy again if he'd be willing to come back and work on the marriage. I told H I still love him, but I can't live like this. (How many times can I say this????????) I'm also concerned about muddying my own head and future divorce proceedings by having H think I'm starting up affairs right now? AND, I've told H...we can date, we can use other people as "drugs" right now...OUR KIDS can't. They need to be the number one priority for us right now.

But, H knows I've met and gone out with a nice guy who lives a mile away. He'll continue to worry about it...I'm pretty sure of that.

If I wasn't ready to be done, this would all be way more traumatic. But, I'm ready to stir the pot and see what happens.