Since my BFF is now the OW, I don't have a friend to talk to about my day, so I'm going to vent you my online friends smile

Went to the doctor today to get results of all the tests I've been doing.... well, someone screwed up along the way, and the main information that my doc was looking for, wasn't there. So I have to do another day at the hospital for 3 more tests... If I find out who screwed up, I'm gong to hunt them down and shove 10 IVs in their arm!!!

H came to the hospital with me- because he wanted to hear the results too. He sat on the opposite side of the waiting room from me- I had the baby with me so H kept using him as an excuse to get up and move around. He barely acknowledged me and said 2 words to me. I told him a funny story about something the baby did this morning, and he just smiled.

So the doc told us that the tests he *did* have, were normal. Unfortunately, the answers that he really needed to be able to make the next step, are in the tests that he didn't have. So the whole appointment was really a bust. My H tried to comfort me by telling me: "Well, this seems positive. They didn't see anything major on the other tests, so looks like there might be a simple solution with no long term issues."
[Ms. Negativity took over my thoughts with: yeah, you're probably relieved because you don't have to feel guilty for leaving your W who's dying and you don't have to pay for medical stuff for the rest of your life.... didn't say it, just thought it.]
The fact is, I still need to have 2 heart surgeries, and neither of my 3 doctors can tell me if either of them will fox my problem. They said that after they close up the hole, they won't know if it solved part of the problem for at least 3 months.... Im slowly going crazy with this heart stuff! I want to just say- ok, leave me alone and I'll never run a marathon, or be able to do 1 hour of aerobics.... but at least I won't have to keep being poked and tested!!

H is really good at being detached, I wish I could pick hi brain for how to do it!! I have the boys tonight.... but tomorrow I'm going to my 1st pole dancing class!! HAHA, I still can't believe I signed up to do this... BUT it's a 180 (on my entire personality) so I'm gonna do it!!


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12