Wife Left Part 3

[CO1978]

LAbug thanks for checking in on me, to make a long story short...

I am on LRT full speed. I went as dark as possible.

W no longer comes to house in mornings to watch S (my choice). S now lives with her except when I'm off (since I have nobody to watch him while I am at work). Tonight W will drop him off for a few hours while she is at work and pick him up (she said she will start doing this as much as possible since I don't get to see him much now).

Less time seeing her. She is continuing to move stuff out, continuing with divorce talk. Said she wants to use our tax return to pay lawyer, if I don't "play ball" she will go for everything.

I went to my IC on Wednesday, he told me not to quit on marriage, even after the MC session on the 18th (that went pretty bad, more on that later) he thinks there is still hope. He said she is in a lot of pain and hurt which shows she still does have feelings even if she won't admit it.

W still has not gone to get help (counseling) for herself, so the doubt in me that a chance for reconciling is growing.

I must say I no longer feel sadness, all that has turned into anger.

I cry only when I miss my S. When I dropped him off and he told me to stay with him in his "new" bedroom I cried (in front of her, which later made me angrier at her).

I know the anger towards her isn't good, I have a feeling its going to push me away from want to reconcile. My IC explained that it is part of the grieving process.

Oh well got to go work out, S is getting dropped off shortly after, will post more later.