W racing to finish line - do I bring up OM?

[25yearsmlc]

I mentioned in a previous post that I was expecting to visit our safety deposit box to split up our assets so I could talk to her, but it appears as that will not happen. Here is an e-mail from W today:

Hi there-- hope you're having a good week.

Just as a heads up-- i had a doctor's appt yesterday (at 20 S clark), so i stopped by the safe deposit box afterwards. I grabbed my jewelry and left yours in there. There were actually two necklaces and earring sets from your family and not one like I originally thought. Both are in there.

I will drop off the safe deposit key and your external hard drive (I transferred my music, thanks) at some point next week.

Have a great weekend,
W

Since I have brought up OM in the past, which she's denied, I think I left her with the thinking that it's probably easiest to avoid me. I want to make her feel safe again and put out an olive branch, but not sure if the e-mail I've drafted is too much. My friends and I have hosted an annual birthday celebration with our friends from college each year, and this year's event falls tomorrow night. I left her off the invite list for obvious reasons,

not obvious to me. You were mad?

and she has not talked to our common friends since she dropped the bomb, so thinking this could be an opportunity to extend a hand. Of course, I'm not sure if this is too much, so please let me know if you have any suggestions. She mentioned she'd drop off the external hard drive and keys next week, but I'd like to see her when she does and not sure if asking to do so would be pursuing (though, secretly...I think I know the answer).

How would pursuing her now, hurt your cause? You hardly did it before. Not all DB rules apply to each sitch. I don't recall what your 180s were at all. Seemed to me you "called her bluff" and she wasn't bluffing. You showed a lot of anger, or so it appeared. Maybe I missed something but I read her August letter and your subsequent posts so I think not.

Thanks for the note and I hope that you are well and the doctor’s appt. was just routine.

Of course, selfishly, it would have been great to see you this week, but I understand the convenience since you were down there anyway.

I want to mention that we are having the annual January birthday celebration again tomorrow night. I didn’t want to bother you or make you feel weird so I didn’t invite you, but I hope you know that you are invited as several of our friends would love to see you.

While it took me quite a while to finally stop blaming you and start looking at my own behaviors, I have done a lot of soul searching recently. If I could do it all over again, I'd do a lot of things differently. I so regret & apologize for hurting you. I didn't know better then, but I do now. I hope we can maintain some type of friendship b/c I've loved you a long time. xoxo"

Obviously BL, you have to make this authentic for you. So use what applies and word it how you wish. But don't be vague or verbose. Be clear.
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which led to your unhappiness so that I could grow as a person,

I want to make sure that you feel comfortable maintaining the friendships that you had outside of me. I know that I felt differently early on, but it is not fair for my actions to affect the friendships that you have formed over the years. And it's not just me who'd love to see you. You are missed by others too.

Regardless, have a nice weekend and hopefully see you next week.
-Me

I've been terrible in the past with effective DB'ing and not sure if this is too much, so I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks.

good luck