It is just as important to understand that your W is also in denial... she denies that there is any possibility that the two of you could work things out and rebuild the M.
KD, this is well put and describes our situation very well. My question is, other than continue to work as hard as I can to continue to demonstrate my changes, what can I do to get her to take another look at the M? (Think I already know the answer: nothing. :()
Yes, I feel progress in detaching. I haven't mentioned the M/R in any way all week. W even gave me the opportunity to discuss my feelings yesterday and I passed. (She already knows them.)
When my W writes someone off she gets cold and clinical. She is doing that to me now in a big way. The more she does it the more distant the M or any chance of reconciliation seems. So, it's getting easier to think about discussing the D unemotionally.
We have done a few things socially and they have been cordial. It is getting easier not to focus on us and to think of myself as a single father, actually thought about her as my ex for the first time yesterday.
You're right that it will take more time than I had hoped, much more (if it happens at all). I am willing to hang in there and keep working on myself. All I want is her to think about her choice in light of the man I am, not the man I was. My biggest concern is that she is pushimg the D process so hard and so focused on the D process that she will not consider giving us any time to get to know each other as the people we are now.
