My Sitch/any better ideas than going dark?

[hope2011]

Broken, you sound a lot like my H and his complaints about money (he makes 10x what I do by nature of our careers and when he lost his job due to the market crash, he resented me for not making more). His resentment made me #1 resent him, #2 rewrite history because I *thought* he loved me despite how little money I make, #3 lose respect for him because all he cared about was money. His self-esteem is wrapped up in how much money he makes, sounds like yours is too? Guess what? If a woman loves you, she doesn't care how much money you make or what you could buy her. And women want to be loved the same way... without a price tag or a bank account.

What if you took money out of the equation totally? Just stop measuring success based on money, objects, early retirement or bankruptcy. Take care of bills of course but don't obsess over them or what you did for her or paid for, etc. Stop buying her things. Stop resenting what you already bought.

Use all that energy on working on the REAL substance of a man.... kindness, honesty, integrity, etc.

I was no angel during my first marriage either and beat myself up a lot and consider it "karma" I'm dealing with so much now in my 2nd marriage. I hear you on that! But at some point we both have to forgive ourselves and move on or we're destined to keep repeating that. If you asked your XW for forgiveness, asked God (or whomever you believe in) and you have stopped the behavior you need forgiveness for.... then the slate is clean. Let it go. All you can be is the best person you are TODAY. Now remind me of that when I need to hear that too!