IB, I'm going to offer my take on what your xh wrote to you. He had a moment of clarity and by sending this to you, it made him feel better. He wants to smooth things over w/you so that when you both are in public, everyone will think that you are okay w/what he's done and continues to do. My xh wrote similar bs after my bil passed away. It's all about them being seen as the "good guy". They hate it when we are annoyed and angry w/their behavior.
As for your bil, he should be preaching to his brother, not your son. He has no business sending such trash to your son. You don't know what your xh has told him and I would simply ignore your bil's bs unless it gets worse. Yes, your bil crossed the line on this...he is not your son's parent.
You are not crazy...your xh is and he's feeding a line of bs to anyone that will hear him. Stay the course and do what is best for you and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
