It is SO early on. Keep in mind that she is getting citizenship here and there's a lot involved in that. Keep in mind that she is someone you spent FIVE hours with. It is nice that she is nice and you like her and she likes you. But you are jumping in with both feet WAY TOO FAST!
And your girls know already (a couple of hours after you met her) and so does your ex (a couple of hours after you met her).
I get the warnings folks but all we're doing is talking and going out to do some fun activities together. Where it leads, who knows. Yes, I am excited. We talked for 1.5 hours tonight, time flies. That's a nice feeling...but don't let the nice feeling cloud judgement...gotcha
...and as far as my daughters knowing, they know their Dad is seeing women, it's no secret. They're my biggest cheerleaders! As far as STBX knowing, she actually gave me some restaurant vouchers for Christmas so I could take women to nice places. My family is on side with my activities and there's nothing happening that I need to hide. I'm certainly not introducing SDA Lady as their next mother and have no plans for her to meet them. Why would I?
Last night SDA Lady and I spent time talking and exchanging our favourite Bible verses. We also talked about divorce and how it feels to be so, she knows my divorce is in process. She said "everybody seems to think that just because you have that piece of paper you shouldn't have any feelings about it. You're just supposed to go out and find somebody else right away! It doesn't work that way. You don't just forget 20 years of your life just because a piece of paper says it's over. It takes time. It's taken me two years to feel comfortable to go out again" Yeah, I think we're in sinc there. We talked about what we missed about having someone in our lives, she said she missed having someone to talk to about your day. I said I missed that too, and holding someone's hand...it's just the little things that are so important. I said "you know what, when you texted me asking me to drive carefully on Tuesday that felt so good. You thought of me, I liked that" she said "I looked out the window and I saw the snow and remembered that you were driving your brother that morning" I said "that's why it was so nice" She said "I was smiling a lot that afternoon too just thinking about the funny things we texted to each other." she also said that she was afraid that I'd be mad when she teased me by calling me "big brother" but she said that my response told her I wasn't mad "I like that I can be silly with you sometimes!" I told her I have a political party meeting for tonight, she laughed and said "are you going to be a Congressman?"
I went to my Riding Association meeting tonight. It was 80 minutes of arguing, fighting and shouting...and the meeting never even started! Finally we had to leave because the community centre was closing. Isn't politics fun! As I was arriving home I got a text from SDA Lady, we hadn't communicated all day. She said "How was ur day. I had a long one and am tired" I took that as "I need to talk" so I called and sure enough she did. She started out with "how was your day" "what did you have for dinner" and I cut right to the chase and asked her what was wrong. She went to her Dr's today for a physical and the Dr wants her to go for an electrocardiogram. SDA Lady had heart palpitations a few years ago and Dr. wants to repeat the tests, so she's kind of freaked out about why the doctor wants to repeat the tests, Dr. says "just to make sure everything is OK" So, I tried to convince her not to troll the internet looking for info cuz that will make her crazy. WE talked about how anxiety provoking tests can be. She has to go for the results of her Physical Sunday between 3:00pm and 5:00pm. So first we'll go to the museum and then I'll take her to her doctor's afterwards. I talked to my shrink this afternoon and told her all about SDA Lady and she says "she sounds like a lovely lady". She told me no red flags jumped out at her. She said that SDA Lady and I seemed to be on the same page as far as intensity. She sees a lady who is willing to give as well as receive. She said that everybody gets into R's differently, some go full throttle and others hang back and there's no right or wrong. She told me just to enjoy what I'm doing. She said she would be worried if my intensity was far greater than SDA Lady but she sees two people who are both interested in seeing where this leads. So, I felt a re-assured. She said she was much more relaxed about this lady than she was about MM. She said MM was a very confused lady and her stories did not ring true. She said that when SDA Lady told me about the end of her marriage she had tears in her eyes, showed real emotion but MM never showed any emotion when she told me her story. Shrink said she found that very odd at the time. Anyway, thats my day.
I think SDA Lady would be a good Divorce Buster! When a man tells you he likes something, you do more of it. She texted me this morning "Good morning Whatis. Lots of flurries on the road. Pls. be careful driving home. Ingat" (Ingat means "take care because I care for you"). I replied "I will. Have a nice day (in Tagalog).
I have irregular heartbeats, a heart murmur & high blood pressure. I've been through lots of tests and it was all "nothing to worry about". I hope all is well. Strange to be taking her to the doctor just one week after "meeting" her in person.
Anyway - the high intensity stuff and rushing in is not everybody's cup of tea. It would scare most people off. I'm kind of surprised at your c's take on it. But then - I'm not really that surprised. Some Cs tell you what you want to hear. Or maybe she really "gets it". I'm just wondering why, if she felt that way about MM - she didn't say anything.
But whatever. It doesn't really matter. As long as you're happy. The Museum is awesome and I'm sure you will both have a great time!
I'm taking her to the doctor because it's on our way home and I don't see the sense in dropping her at home and letting her take the bus in the snow to get there and then having to take it back home again. It's just for the results of her Physical, not the Electrocardiogram results. She does that test on Tuesday afternoon...and I won't be taking her! My therapist has been in the business for forty years, I've known her for 21...I have confidence in her! She doesn't tell me what to do, which is what a good therapist should do. She helps me evaluate my choices. It's not insane to talk to someone daily or to go out once per week! Do we talk too much, probably and as G said that most likely will wane. I'm fine where I am at the moment and when I'm not I'll deal with it. As far as MM therapist did tell me at the time that her story was a bit odd but it was just her feeling, I did with it what I did. Anyway, the museum will be awesome. SDA Lady likes history, has never been there and plans on bringing a camera! She's excited to go...as am I. We plan to go bowling for our next outing...unless this one goes horribly bad!lol
Btw, thanks for the info on your experience with heart tests, Barb. I told her I have a friend at work who has irregular heartbeat and has done these tests and is fine. Finally she said "I'm OK, and at least the tests are free!"
...and I'll also give her the option of taking the bus home. She may not want me hanging around waiting with her to get her results. Those results are her business, not mine. If she'd like me to stay, I'll stay, if not that's cool! I'll let her know that I'm OK either way.
