WHG: Chasing that rabbit with the pocketwatch

[workinghardguy]

Well, she won't be alone, she'll be at work. Actually, by the time she gets home from work the kids will have been fed, homework done, and asleep in bed, so it will be a pretty smooth gig for her. Though as soon as I depart she will be alone in the house without the kids up and around. We're still trying to figure out if the kids will sleep at my house those night or her house... some of them are my nights with S, some are hers. That part is still a little fuzzy.

But a great point about her and her XH. They see each other for 30 seconds once every two weeks. They can barely be civil on the phone and never via text message. I actually feel bad for SS and SD because they're going to see me, who isn't anything other than a guy who really cares about them, doing my best to spend time with them and actually doing it... probably 3x-4x as much as their real dad does. I have to think that will make them question the R they have with their dad, but I'd rather have that than have them feel abandoned by two dads.

Woke up this morning feeling horrible. My brain switched on early and was projecting what it's going to be like the first time I drop S off at W's new house and I go to leave. But then I reminded myself that my brain had also created this cut scene of what it would be like when we broke the news to the kids and it was nothing remotely like that. So I was able to shut myself down, though no going back to sleep after that.

I know my brain triggered that because last night right before I went to sleep my W came upstairs to ask me a question. She asked if I was still going away for my volunteer weekend on the weekend she is moving. Went along this line...
W: So you still doing your <volunteer group> weekend the weekend I'm moving?
Me: Nope.
W: Oh? So you're going to be around.
Me: Nope.
W: Oh. Where will you be?
Me: I promised myself that the weekend you moved out I was going to take S somewhere fun. So that's what I'm doing, we're going somewhere fun.
W: But where will you be?
Me: I don't know yet... but it will be out of town and overnight.
W: Oh. So you won't be around to help then? (said with a negative tone)
Me: Nope. I've said that while I know you need to move out that I'm not actually going to move your stuff for you.
W: So it's just me and <her step-dad>?
Me: I don't know... whomever you've got coming to help. We'll be gone from Friday to Sunday so you've got the whole weekend.
W: Well, I don't have anyone to help. It's not something you ask friends to help you with. Fine. (turns, huffs, and goes downstairs).

And just as a show of what is still wrong in my head... I still wanted to go fix it. To tell her I'll see if my mom can watch S while I help her move. What is wrong with me? I didn't do it of course... but man did I want to. It passed after a few minutes, but it was still my first reaction.