We met at the bank to close our going account and open m up a new one. While there, a teller was flirting with me. As we went to sit down, J said, "That guy is looking for an ass whooping." Lol! I was kind of dressed up and looking good. I was very detached with J at the bank. As we left it was raining. I was getting S in the car and J asked to sit in my car to talk with me. I started to protest, but gave in. We talked for about an hour. He was very vulnerable. He asked me if I ever think of him and getting back together, because he does. He asked AGAIN if I slept with someone, but I stayed firm and told him we shouldn't talk about our personal lives. He said he can see himself happy with the person that I'm becoming, but feels we aren't ready to be back together yet. He said in the past few days he realized that he lost his best friend.
I had been doing SO WELL with the detaching. But that conversation messed me up. I called him a bit later and we talked for 2 hours. I needed straight answers. He said he was trying to let me go and move on, but that he really wants to get to know the person that I'm becoming. I got him to admit that he still wants to see what wise is out there. He said there are some interesting people, but none of them are me. He's missing ME as a person now, rather than missing the habits of being in a relationship. He said he realizes that he has a lot of changes to make. He said he has realized that the lying goes deeper than a reaction to my controlling behavior and that he can't blame me for it.
He said a lot of what he's been saying for weeks now. I told him that I'm starting the process of moving on and that this is a huge gamble to make. He said he doesn't feel ready for us to be together right now, that if he comes back he wants it to be when he's in the right frame of mind. I agree with that. He said he hopes we get to that place.
I just don't know what to be feeling right now! We're going back to the boundaries set in place. He said he won't talk about the R anymore unless I initiate (which I won't).
In the car I looked him in the eye and said, "I don't want to sleep with you anymore. At all." He started crying and said that hearing that hurt, but he understands.
We're meeting somewhere tomorrow to fill out the joint custody/child support forms.
What should I be doing?!
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
