Forgiveness

[antlers]

or make sure you send HER copies of the good news from the school AND the bad news... Haven't done that in the past, nor has she with our daughter. I can start though.

seek her input and assume the best of her motives...that would be a real 180 for you. 2thepoint gave me some good things to start with regarding seeking her input. Assuming the best of her motives...that's gonna be difficult...with good reason. I'm willing to try.

You honestly seem to think she's solely motivated by a desire to hurt you.
I don't buy that. And It sure fuels your negative views of things and helps no one...especially you. Yes, I honestly think she's very interested and motivated by a desire to hurt me. Well, I've lived it and been on the receiving end of it for over 3 years now. I wish it weren't so. Yep, it causes me to have a negative view of certain things. I think it's natural to keep your guard up when it's warranted. Getting my ass kicked up between my ears by her doesn't help me either!

Finally, almost all of this is beyond your control. Remember to let that go. Absolutely. I'm pretty powerless over most all of this stuff. I will remember that. I'm trying to not be afraid of what she might do...to let that fear go. And I hope the thing that worries me doesn't come to pass.

Remember how you said you were letting go? Yes. I feel like I'm doing pretty darn good too, before this newest batch of crap. I'm still letting go of her and the past.

so don't get sucked into the parent contest anymore, and don't make this all about YOU and how you will be hurt by it financially or otherwise. It's about my son, but she can sure cause me some problems if she tries to take him away from me. I have to be aware of that. And I would be hurt by it in a big way. I do not want to do battle with her anymore!

You both love the kids and want what's best for them. Stop assuming, out loud, that she does not. I base my statements on 3 years worth of previous experience. I want it to be that we both love them, and they love and need us both. And we work together to help them and put their needs first. That's what I want.

That's competitive of you, not her. Or it's mutual. LET IT GO... I understand that letting go of the fear and the situation is appropriate. I may be getting worked up over nothing. I really don't mind if he spends time there.

Back off and focus on the school issues, involving her with them as well. Back off is exactly what I've done since he went over there.

Give her something to live UP TO, rather than assuming the worst of her, which just fuels more negativity on both sides.

I'd sure like to see a positive change in her in her dealings with me regarding the kids.