WAW told me she doesn't want to be married pt3

[25yearsmlc]

Last night I was talking with my mom and how upset she is with my sisters marriage and my marriage.

you can gently tell her you are not inviting comment on your m...


My mother keeps coming back to in her day you worked things out. Her and my father never went out separately. However my dad had card nights and she had ma jong nights once a week.
She is upset cause my sister is miserable and how dare he just walk out on his job. He has a wife and 2 kids. Now all he does is sit at home. He won't talk with anyone and he is not looking for work. He is behind in his tech knowledge and I think this scares him.
Then we got on my wife and how I always treated her like a queen and I raised my kids and was always there for my kids being more of the mother cause they were with me. I told her she was right. I explained to her again what went wrong and how I got depressed and instead of wanting to be with my wife I would watch tv.

Didn't matter to my mom. ---. I said that I thanked my W for doing this. I needed this slap in the face/kick in the ass to better myself. I like myself better now then who I was when this started. At that time I thought of my kids as a nuisance and couldn't wait for my W to come in and take care of them. Now I am a better father again.

see any contradictions in the marital history you gave your mom?

Another thing my mom brought up was that we were married and should have one joint bank account not hers, mine and ours. This is something that I have read about and is suggested. This way I can go buy something if I have the money and not feel guilty vice versa for my W.


it's a personal choice couples make today. Women work on their own outside the home a lot more often now than in her day...not really any of her business how you run yours....seriously. But I wouldn't tell her that, just saying let it roll off your back. Or each get a separate credit card if you want.



My mother thinks everyone was happy in the 70's 80's and 90's. There was not as much cheating or unhappy marriages. Well there weren't that you know of is what I told her. Now with tech its much easier.


Not sure what "with tec it's much easier" means...

but my parents had a terrible marriage for most of their 44 years...and resolved some issues when my father realized quite suddenly he only has short time left to live. MANY of my friends' marriages from that time were lousy.

She doesn't see how different it is to be married these days. She also thinks we are all over thinking everything. Couples counseling and going to therapy is what is doing this to marriage. Again all her opinion and she fights whatever I say.

our expectations of marriage have evolved. Some of us probably do expect too much and many of us overthink. Others are a lot happier than they would have been if they had not dug so deeply.

But She has a point. Keep it simple.

Mean your vows & keep them.

There, that's the secret solution.