25- thank you for keeping me focused. Some of the things you said aren't easy to read, but I understand them and I *know* that I needed to read them. I am very greatful that H agreed to staying separated 'forever', and I shared my appreciation with him- but while reading your comments, I realized I probably didn't 'applaud' loud enough (something that has always been a problem for me), so now that the moment has passed- how do I applaud again? The fact that he is 'doing right by me' reminds me that *my* H is still inside this alien in front of me. He has always been a great guy and putting others ahead of him.... That's probably why he feels entitled to be 'selfish' now and 'find his happiness'.
It's so strange to catch myself being negative and actually say: "this isn't helping anything, shut up and go on with life!".... Even though I keep doing it. All the advice and support I've received on this board- is my Jimminey Cricket. I hear all the positive thoughts and motivation all the time..... Even if it appears that I don't because of my posts. I am not proud of myself when I backslide, I don't like all the negative projections.... I am really focusing on this.
I really to treasure and take to heart what everyone has said to me. I really value the opinions of all of you who have been doing this a lot longer than I have.... Maybe one day *i* can be the wise voice of reason! Well, one day waaaayyyyy in the future.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12