No real contact with my W last night. She was in the driveway when I got home. She was on the phone. I waved at her when I went to bring the trash can in and she waved back. That was the extent of our interaction last night. I told my S she was out in he driveway. He got his stuff together and they were gone.
My W had texted my S to let him know she was on the way. I think at some point soon I am going to ask her to communicate with me when she's on the way. Anyone think this is an unreasonable expectation? I'm not trying to be controlling or anything, I just want to know when to expect her. Her just showing up whenever or communicating directly with my S - that's just not how I roll.
Last night was my usual Tuesday night GAL'ing activity - it was my Healing Relationships, a.k.a. Ladies' group at my church. It was another good group meeting. We have been discussing how to deal with lonliness.
This morning it was 30 degrees out and I went for a 3 mi. run for my exercise. Got nice and hot and sweaty.
My W had texted my S to let him know she was on the way. I think at some point soon I am going to ask her to communicate with me when she's on the way. Anyone think this is an unreasonable expectation? I'm not trying to be controlling or anything, I just want to know when to expect her. Her just showing up whenever or communicating directly with my S - that's just not how I roll.
I don't think it is an unreasonable expectation. It is more of a common courtesy that one would hope for while dealing with a reasonable adult.
That being said, I think the way you communicate this request to your W will determine if you are being controlling.
Perhaps something to the effect of: "W, can you do me a favor and communicate directly with me when you plan on dropping and picking S up? I would like to be clear to ensure that he is ready when you arrive to pick him up and to ensure that I am home when you drop him off."
I don't know. Maybe that is too much.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Thanks, LITB. I was thinking it was reasonable. Frankly, if we are D, it's very likely I am going to expect her to be more responsible and hold to a little more rigid schedule than when she was still in the house. I really don't think that's unreasonable myself. I won't be as likely to give her as much grace as in the recent past because I need to make my own plans. I agree, if my approach and timing is on key, it will yield the best possible result.
I'm on a pretty even keel today so far. I know it can always change, but I'll be OK if it stays that way.
No contact at all with my W yesterday or today so far. I may see her when she comes to pick up my S tonight. It'll be kind of rushed because I have my GAL'ing activity of Men's group at my church tonight.
I didn't get any exercise in this morning. It was pouring rain this morning. If it stops raining tonight, though, I may do something crazy like go out and ride 26 miles after I get home from Men's group.
It's 3 weeks until my mission trip to Belize. I think that'll be a pretty good GAL activity.
JB. That is wild 26 miles at night. That's crazy. I been lazy too cold for ridding and my back is killing me. Wonder if it is from stress? Maybe it is the chipolte that gets u going. By the way isn't Belize a vacation spot. Lol
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Rick, it was pouring out after Men's group, so I didn't go. I just settled for a 8.6 mi. on wet streets and 37 degrees this morning.
I guess I got to update my signature line today. I just now noticed that flaming birthday cake beside my screen name, LOL
I did see my W for a few minutes last night. It was pleasant overall. She brought in a package from outside that was sitting on the front porch. A good out of town friend had sent me a book. It prompted my W to wish me a happy birthday.
Men's group was awesome last night. Had a great time and a great discussion!
I'll have my S with weekend, so I'm trying to dream up adventures for us to get into this weekend! I might have to make him go eat at a nice restaurant with me at the very least.
I just now noticed that flaming birthday cake beside my screen name, LOL