Tank, honey, you care about the mother of your children and long for a reunited family - that's normal.
If you could find the time to go to Al-Anon, I think you would learn the answers to some of your other questions.
And btw - the RIGHT woman would understand you helping your ex to see the kids FOR THE KIDS' SAKE. I am dating a guy who works nights and has his 9 year old daughter every other weekend - I don't get to see him often but one thing I do NOT resent is his time spent with his child - I ADMIRE him for being a responsible dad.
So glad you're winning the cancer war! Make sure they keep track of your vitamin D levels, and ask them to check you for iron overload if it hasn't been done.
