Ya know its tricky. Some days or weeks I'm in a good place emotionally. I can accept she is gone and even go so far to reflect that the last year niether of us was happy with the M. I won't go so far to say "good ridance", that's just not the case.
When I see her however, I melt and my defenses and ressolve nearly crumbles. Like yesterday.I feel utterly helpless and resigned to my fate. I do not know how long I will keep trying.
I'm still very much in love with the girl I married. I do not, however, want anything to do with the one that said the hurtful things yesterday. I pray and hope I can "meet" the first one again if that makes sense?
At the same time I know we have both changed over the past 12 years. Both good and not so good.
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
