Ok, I am convinced that your H is doing something behind his back, after reading your long list. Sorry about doubting you, its just that I can't wrap my head around the idea that this has been going on for 3 years now and yet nothing is happening. Its almost like the two of you are playing a game of who can last the longest. The latest posts from kml, leopold and 25 were all so spot on, I can't help but agree with them.
I think you and your H are in a codependent situation. He won't leave for some reason because the situation suits him. This is really very selfish of him. YOu can't rock the boat because of your fear.
Honestly, I don't know what to tell you.
But maybe, we can think of something solid and consructive for you to work with.
You gave us a list of what your H has been doing to prove that he is having an A.
Now, you have read a lot of books, have been given so much advice. YOu probably have tried a few things here and there to rectify the situation, right?
Can you list down all these things and think about which of those have worked, and which have not worked (I am guessing there's more of this than the other category)? Then maybe, it will give a better picture of whats wrong and whats missing.
As they say, in a relationship, both of you are responisble in making it work.
While its true that you can't change your H, is there anything that you can do to change to move this sitch along? Is the Abbey posting today the same one as the Abey posting 3 years ago, or is it an imporved version?
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
