Synopsis of my sitch so far: A week before my partner of almost 9 years dropped the bomb on me, he told me he was confused about how he felt for me. He said he didn't feel as intensely for me, but was still in love with me and wasn't leaving. It freaked me out, to say the least. We'd been having problems, but that was the first time he sat me down to tell me anything like that. After that I tried to make things better, but felt no response from him. 1 week later he tells me he's not in love with me and wants to have his own life. He told me this on the night we got our Christmas tree. Lovely memories, eh?
I asked him to move out 3 days later. He stays in a spare bedroom at his mom's. Tomorrow marks 7 weeks since the bomb drop. Gradually he has come to tell me that he never fell out of love with me, he was just 'numb' when he told me that. I found out he lied up until the end of our relationship. I was depressed and controlling and he would lie to me. I found out he started texting and hanging out with other women very soon after leaving me. We've slept together 3 times during the split. Not going to happen anymore. He's told me he's still in love with me and feels we owe it to each other to lead our own life, and if we come back together naturally, then we're meant to be.
I decided (finally) to not let him cake eat anymore, and to not share my personal life with him. He FREAKED about it the other day. Begging and pleading me to tell him if I've kissed/slept with someone else. He seems to have gone temporarily (hopefully its temporary) insane. He told me that this new person I'm becoming is more and more appealing by the day.
BUT he's not back home. I think maybe he doesn't want me, but doesn't want anyone else to have me I think he said all of that because he assumed I'm seeing someone and I didn't correct him. And I won't. It's not his business, and he needs to face that I will see others it he doesn't wake up and come back to his family.
He called me at 3:30 this morning. It rang once. What the heck? A friend of mine thinks he was making sure I wasn't in bed with someone else. Maybe it's because I keep reminding him to text me instead of call, and he's not liking having lost the control.
Dealing with a cake eater has me feeling like I need to work in reverse. I'm making him feel the effects of NOT having me. He's not liking it. He has reached out to me more since I quit sharing with him. But it still doesn't mean that he'll come home. I know I will be ok if he doesn't. I've learned to recognize my self-worth and I'm learning to love myself and become independent. It feels great.
We're meeting at the bank this afternoon to take me off of our joint account.
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
I think he said all of that because he assumed I'm seeing someone and I didn't correct him. And I won't. It's not his business, and he needs to face that I will see others it he doesn't wake up and come back to his family. 