Too Little, Too Late.... part 4

[purgatory]

Bklyn- don't worry, my L is already involved. I've discussed with her our first draft, and she pointed out some areas that need clarification- and that's what I was sharing with H. He's going to share these 'changes' with his L, and I'm sure we'll go back and forth for a little while before any signatures are done. Our separation papers are as detailed as a divorce decree (including life insurance and death benefit issues) because in our state, you HAVE to be L. separated for 1 year before filing for D, and the separation papers end up becoming the D decree. But my H and I have decided to not make it a D decree in a year, instead, just be L. separated forever (or until one of us wants to remarry) this is a good thing for both of us because the military doesn't recognize separation papers, and so we will continue to receive all the 'married' benefits. So since we've decided to be L. separated forever- this means that when I sign those papers, it's the same same as if I was signing D papers..... that's the reality I'm struggling with. But I'm not signing anything until I get back from FL.
How do I keep them from uniting against me? He's going to get his permission slip, she has her's (from her M)- so now they are both going to be free to do whatever they want.... and I am powerless to stop it! I really hope you're right about coming home faster after papers, but our sitch is so unusual that I don't think it will happen. Here would be the ideal sitch: I come back from FL, H has a change of heart because 'I didn't realize how much you do for me and our family until you were gone', H puts things on hold, we start to talk more openly about R, and we are able to reunite before he leaves in June...... that's my fantasy.

Reality is, that ^^^^ isn't going to happen.

111- I'm with ya on the friends thing. I didn't realize how isolated I had become until they all went away. My other 3 close friends, are all 10 hours away in other states... so I don't even have the option of getting together with them. I'm trying to get up the nerve to branch out and go to a meetup group, without the company of someone I already know.... it's scary to be going out into the world without someone holding my hand to join me, but it needs to be done.


**that's why I really think H and exBFF are cowards- they are TOO scared to venture out into the unknown, instead, they are staying in their 'already known' little world!** It makes me so mad that nothing changes for either of them, and yet, I am tossed out of a moving car in the middle of no where, with no one and I'm expected to go on with my life!!