OW has been on the hook for three years now - she's probably getting impatient.
She probably thinks when the house is finished he's gonna leave you and move in with her. Imagine how pissed she'll be if he doesn't.
BUT - it may be time to ask yourself - do you WANT to be with a guy who could carry on a three year affair and deny it when you ask him directly to his face? Someone who is building her home while you support him? (At the moment at least that's true!)
There come a time when light needs to shine on a situation - THAT'S why I said I kinda wished you'd confronted them. Not because I thought it was a good idea to do crazy "Cheaters" episodes - but because this business of him gaslighting you has to stop, and it seems like the only way is for him to be caught in the act when he can't deny it any longer.
If you still want him, odds are if you wait it out he'll be yours - after all, he hasn't exactly rushed to be with OW, now, has he?
But it may be time to ask yourself, is he really what you want?
