I am sorry that you are here, but later you will find that this may be the best thing that ever happened to you.
As though it may be hard for you to hear, the best thing for you is to GAL and possibly go dark/dim. This protects you and give the WAS space to think (hopefully).
As hard as this is to accept, the past relationship you have with H is over. Hopefully a new one can begin, but before that can happen you need to take care of yourself and then let your emotions sink in and sit with them.
When dealing with H, remember that you CANNOT change him no matter what, so don't even try.
Set boundaries that will work for you and your children. That is all you can control. Don't worry about what he thinks at this point. You are probably the rational one.
Forgive yourself for the past sins and learn from them.
As you begin to detach, you will start to see your role in the relationship and the problems with it.
Once you recognize it, then make a promise to yourself to change the present behavior and follow it no matter if H takes you back or not. (because this is for you, not him)
# 1. forgive yourself and use it as a learning experience. #2. Give the M up to God and work on yourself. That is your best bet at this time.
I realize this is tough to do but walking through the wall of fire of our fear is the only way to find an answer.
Good luck!
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
