Down and out - whats next

[fireman]

I have an opinion on this. I am in a situation where I cheated on my wife and she found out. The reasons for what I did are irrelevant. She filed for divorce and I have been trying to get her to work things out for a month now. I have gone to a psychiatrist so I could understand why I do the things I do. I have made drastic changes within myself to be a better man. I have been trying to make her see this, and I made it a point to tell her every day I love her and I am sorry and I am doing everything I can to be the man I am supposed to be. She was trying for a couple weeks, and I was listening to the advice of others. They told me I have to let her know how much I love her. I have to prove to her that I am changing. And so I was trying. Here is what I did wrong, and here is what you seem to be doing wrong: I would not let myself see that what I am is not what she wants. It's an immensely tough pill to swallow. What I see now is that I should have throttled back and given her space and told her whatever she wants to do is what she should do to make her happy. Not that it's reverse psychology, or not blatently intentionally, but she may wonder why you suddenly don't need her to be there. She may need to stay home to figure out why she isnt as apparently important to you. It seems like something was missing, she found it some place else and it has consumed her. So make her feel like she needs to find it at home. The only way you may be able to do that is to let her know you are fine with her leaving. Tell her to go. See what she does. I wish I had have done that with my wife a month ago. As I have discovered, I smothered her with all the "look what I am doing. You can love me, really you can, just look!"Tthere is nothing attractive about that. I hope you get what you want. I pray for you. Good luck.