Just to answer your question about LRT and dark, NM...
Dark is very specifically NO CONTACT. No contacting her, no responses to her attempts to contact you, no "chance meetings" at a club you know she's going to or at the grocery store. Actually intentionally having ZERO CONTACT with your W.
Dark is to protect yourself emotionally, until you work through much of the grieving and are able to control your emotional outbursts of sadness or anger when you are in contact with her. NOT to be punitive or as some "technique" to win her back. It does not work to get your spouse back.
Both dark AND LRT are discussed as temporary measures. How ever long YOU need to help YOU get back into a stable frame of mind.
After that, your goal is to edge towards communication, 180s, and GAL and working on yourself, as ways to SHOW your spouse that you CAN change and being consistent and persistent with the positive changes so that they become real and your spouse can trust them. That takes time.
The LBS must SHOW their positive changes, NOT verbally share them. The WAS will not believe our words. They will only believe consistent acts and actions.
