check my older threads. She started the exact same way - "It's over! I'm done! I have no feelings towards you or this marriage and there is nothing you can do to change my mind!". Granted, I am by NO MEANS out of the woods yet....
Yes, classic, spewing, script... we all got it... and yes, Crimson could get more, yet.
Anger plays a huge part in the WAS process, it seems. They NEED to be (more) angry (and less sad) at us in order to justify their leaving. It's quite possibly part of a protective instinct in all of us. Just more important for the WAS because underneath it all, they are probably emotionally dying having to make the choice to leave.
Originally Posted By: Crimson
It is plainly clear that my W is working through some confusion and a healthy dose of anger,
...
Funny, but my W said in MC last night that after she moved out it was as if I stopped caring and that it only validated her decision to leave. All along I was doing LRT - I cared A LOT but was trying to give her enough space to live her life and assert her independence. NEVER would have guess she read it as me not giving a sh*t about her.
Very important... re-read and re-interpret the stuff in bold...
Most LBS say how they worry about doing LRT because the WAS will interpret that as they don't care...
Look at that, the proof is in the pudding, the LBS shouldn't do LRT, right...? WRONG... LRT WORKS
The reason is, if we keep clinging and begging and if we pursue the WAS, they just get mad at us and push us further away...
When we do an LRT, the get mad... BUT THEY NOTICE... and then, they question their decision... Crimson's W said that it validated her reasons for leaving... when the reality was, once Crimson followed up with some GAL and LRT, his W wasn't quite sure... otherwise, the letter (or any form of an LBS reconnecting with their WAS, more often performed in a less direct, pursuing way as writing a letter) would not have had the effect of his W stopping dead in her tracks with the D process...
DBing works. Trust it... but more so, trust yourself...
