i agree with accuray. no 2x4 needed. you are doing better than you think. you are building skills, day by day and you have already demonstrated that to "the board" and yourself. you are a skill-building person.
one of those skills is observation of small details. i agree you need to watch yourself so you don't ride too high or low with them, but you also need to look for trends and patterns. and we here can help you with that.
while H is riding this wave of excitement (most waves eventually crash or dissipate) you are quietly building yourself as a person and therefore your appeal as a relational partner as well. it's really better done quietly with little fanfare as you maintain an even-keel, friend-like and non-antagonizing relationship. and a relationship where you work to un-tether yourself from him.
if i had a magic want i would fill you up with self-esteem. would you consider this: making a list of some of the things you have done that have made you feel best about yourself?
