hope you love her, cause you're stuck with her now

[MichelleLT]

So....I replied to Roger's last e-mail from last week.

I shouldn't have. I was and still mad about what he had said.

But I did.

Text below...

I did some therapy during the separation/divorce about a year before we met. I found it totally useless. I have instead been doing a combination of solution-based therapy and cognitive reprogramming on my own.

As for understanding why you think you had to call it quits, I understand you felt unappreciated, that you didn't feel loved or passionate right now. But no, I don't understand why you had to dump me. I have never abandoned someone that I have invested love and time in without a fight, actually a lot of them. And I can't understand why anyone would, the concept is totally foreign to me.

I sensed your withdrawal, but you blamed your moods on work, finances, the house, needing to work out, being in pain, reactions to your medications, etc etc etc. Nowhere did you ever say it had anything to do with me. In fact, "us" was the only thing that you weren't complaining about, so that obviously meant we were fine as far as I was concerned. So it was a complete shock to me when you dropped the "we need to talk."

There were plenty of other options from talking to me to asking to do counseling together. We could have done a Retrouvaille workshop (there's one next month in Sac), a relationship enrichment seminar (also one next month in Sac), couples counseling, set up a time to talk each week, etc etc etc. There are a million options that weren't explored. So drastic a measure was not required to get a reaction out of me, you had my attention and my commitment to working on improving things. But you had to tell me something was wrong with us, I'm just not that good a mind reader.

You tell all your friends about the importance of communication and trying different things. You coach Kevin on how to talk to Kim, actions to try when dealing with things like her problem with remembering to bring her lunch containers home. You coach Annette on how to talk to Mike. Maybe you should try taking some of your own advice sometime.