CAUGHT HIM IN HIS LIE!

[abbey1989]

25,

One of the things about problem solving, you have to know what the problem is. So in Abbey's case, at this point there is no evidence, the problem is still in her mind, right? Can she even prove that he is lying? What if he really had work to do in San Marcos? What if she is just a paranoid person? Even if she cuaght her H lying, how does she really know that he has an A? What will she do about it? Can she DB at this point, when he has not even dropped a bomb yet?

Hi Angel61,

I wish I could say that "the problem" is in my mind but it is not. This is what I know:

11/2008 - OW texted us constantly over Thanksgiving weekend while we were in No. Cal.

12/2008 - OW left her H in the midst of a home rebuilding effort of their wildfire destroyed home. Her husband wanted my H to continue on with the project but my H bailed out. (unusual and we had no other work lined up).

12/2008 - H started working out, grooming, all of the weird MLC stuff you read about.

2/2009 - Found a beautiful card from H addressed to OW.

2/2009 - Asked H about his R with OW. He denies and say that I don't "trust him" and that I "never initiate sex" We talked about D that day.

2/2009 - H purchased (supposedly unbeknownst to me) and is using a secret cell phone.

8/2009 - H leaves on an "alone" road trip to No. Cal. to see a car race. Prior to his leaving, I walked into the office while he was checking out jazz bars in SF on the internet and then he quick closed internet screen. Not reachable most of that weekend. He chose to go THERE instead of with me to take our oldest son off to college, first year freshman.

1/2010 - H tells me he will be late because he is checking out some building lots for a friend (not the friend it turned out to be!) I saw the property info on his desk and made mental note.

3/2010 - Email came over from architect letting H know that he was unable to find the parcel map for "OW's lot purchase" I was so upset and asked if was building her house and his reply was "you run the office, you would know if I was building her house". He denied and said he wasn't sure why the architect emailed him.

3/2010 - He showed me pictures of a building from OWs campus where she works and I asked "who told you about the building" and he got completely mad and wouldn't speak to me for at least a day.

2/2011 - We were headed to my son's college baseball game. Just prior to leaving work and earlier that day, I kept getting phone calls from an unknown number. When I finally anwered, H was on the line and he seemed VERY VERY surprised that I answered. In fact....he hung up. When I called back, it rang and rang and then he called me from his normal cell number and said that he was at his jobsite and his cell phone wasn't working (???) and that he had to use one of the landscaper cell phones. Fishy for sure. I'm thinking uh-huh....but we were headed out to see son at college so I let it go.

The following Monday, I actually listened to the message that he left from that other number....and guess what? the message wasn't for me. It was for OW.

I confronted him and he denied. WHATEVER.

3/2011 - online records show that H is requesting all of the inspections for OW's new house that is being built.

12/2011 - I ask H "how is "OW's" new house coming along? He denied knowing anything about it. I let him know that something came over the fax with all of his name/contact info as the person calling into the building dept. for the various inspections. He DENIED. Then he said that all he could think of was maybe OW was using his name. LIES.

1/3/12 - OW's bday. H comes home late that night.

1/14/12- H tells me he has to work and instead he is at a class facilitated by OW at the college (on a Saturday a.m).

Tonight? H supposedly has a business meeting to pick up a check (but guess what? We already received the check in the mail today) and then he says he is going to take that former client out for dinner and wondered what card to use!

Saturday? OW is conducting another class and I am trying to thrwart his plan by making a better one. HA HA.

So, I hope you can see that this is NOT in my head. It might appear that I am a paranoid person....but I am so NOT. This whole thing has rocked me to my core and actually being a trusting person at heart has forever changed the way I will view this or any relationship.