feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[keep_going]

ITM,

I have not posted to you in a while. I just caught up with your sitch. I am sorry about what your H is putting you through. I do notice a lot more strength in your posts - I am very happy for you!

As for the nasty lawyer / finances stuff - I have not dealt with that myself yet. H has insisted several times that he wants us to "figure out how to separate our finances and everything." He can't even say the word Divorce. Last time, he was irritated at ME... I told him I understood he wanted to D and I would not stand in his way, but that I didn't want it, so I would not do anything to jump-start it.

I know eventually he will do it - he has always been a procrastinator so it doesn't surprise me that he hasn't done anything about it. Yet, our financial situation is getting very tricky. I have not worked since our son was born 6 months ago, and needless to say, it's getting tight. I am going to look for a job (which is what H wanted me to do anyways).

Why am I saying all of this? Even though I am not looking forward to those "talks" and dealings, like you, when the time comes, I will send my H to deal with my L. I have decided NOT to have any convos about it with him. I know we will not agree on the terms and will end up arguing if we try to figure it out ourselves. I know that I will feel a lot better once we sort everything out. It's just one less thing to worry about.

I wished we could agree on a legal separation rather than a D, but H is not interested, so it will be whatever he wants. I will not try to control him or change his mind. In the meantime, I work on myself and my kids.

Hang in there - hopefully your L will take care of things in an amicable way with your H and you will have more peace of mind.
You are doing great!