I met with the W this morning. The idea was to sign and notorize the papers after which point they would be dropped at the court house to fester for the requisite 60 days.
Turns out the bank cannot notorize the documents. She has asked that we try again tomorrow at the court house. I just emailed her back letting her no, I will not meet with her again this week.
I did not want this. I can't really explain how I am feeling right now here at my work desk. Thank God for Prozak otherwise I would be a quivering mess.
On the way to the bank I did stop and talk to the wife. I told her how sorry I was for all the pain I have caused over the years. I also gave her a letter I wrote last night. She thanked me for the letter and said she understands me much more now and wishes I had shared those thoughts years ago, however its too late. She also told me she has wanted to leave for over a year and that she has been keeping a journal for the past ten years. In it she recorded all the "messed - up" stuff I did (her words). She made a big point to say several times: IT IS OVER!! Move on and deal with it.
The LRT. She also mentioned that I ignored her for the last several weeks and that shows I do not care. Sh!t! Just cant seem to catch a break here.
Well, she is gone. Next step is to GAL and forget about her. This really hurts. Its interesting, I spent time in the military and over 20 years with the National Park Service now. During my career I have had people die on me during search and rescue and medical calls. Having somebody slip away right in front of you is not nearly as painful as my current situation. I want to DB and keep hope alive, but I saw her eyes today. She means it. I have truly lost her and it is killing me all over again.
Ray
Me: 44 Bomb: 11/27/11 Divorced:6/12 Life goes on: 6/13
