would be for you to own your absence and that you understand she probably felt justified for having an affair (and trust me SHE DID feel justified. She probably felt you pushed her into his arms, frankly).
Doesn't make it right but it would show change on your end
and the willingness to say that you would still like to work on the m.
Why could this help?
On the off chance she feels you'd hold it over her head if you knew
or you'd throw it in her face, she feels she cannot disclose the r to you
So by owning YOUR role in it, NOT blaming her, but saying you still feel there is hope for the m
I guess you don't have much to lose.
But be really clear that you are NOT coming from a place of anger, or you'll get nowhere fast and only validate her choice to leave.
If you say this calmly, she may long wonder "what if" she'd given you another chance. That may happen down the road.
IF IF IF that happens, then the issues the affair raised for you can be addressed
For now you're just trying to tell her that you get it, and the road home, is paved and smooth.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
