BL: I COMPLETELY understand you wanting to know, or feeling like you need to know. If you're like me, you probably at least *think* you might handle things differently if you knew there was an OM for sure. And it satisfies a kind of ... (morbid) curiousity.
My sitch is 100% diff from yours but I am going through the same thing with this. And you know whats funny? Just this morning, and I do believe it's in one of your earlier threads, I read a post saying that we most likely will get one of three types of answers if we ask outright re: OM/OW
1) There is one but W/H will lie and say there's not 2) There really isn't one so W/H will tell the truth (My observation on this one is would one *REALLY* believe them if they swear there's not? For me, I would still be wondering.) 3) They will admit it but blame the reason for having A/OM/OW on you
Reading this post has *finally* struck a chord within me that has made me realise I don't want to know. For me, in all actuality, knowing one way or another really wouldn't change the dynamic of the here and now, so not only am I completely untempted to ask/snoop/search out info now, I kind of don't even want to know and will no longer 'feed the beast' which is obsessing about it in my head, making my own conclusions.
If you can, try and let sleeping dogs lie on this one At least for now.
At least for now.