I have not posted before, I think, but have been following your sitch. I am sorry about your son's meltdown. My daughters are 4 and 3 and I have also seen them struggle since H left a year ago. It breaks my heart and fills me with anger towards H. When it happens I just hug them and remind them how much I love them and that I know they are sad. I even ask them if they miss H and if they admit it, I re-assure them that it's normal and that both H and I love them very much even if we're not together and that it's NOT their fault in any way.
Does H deserve that? I don't know and I don't care. I just want to make this the least traumatic for my little ones.
The worst part is that the few times I have shared this with H he either accuses me of trying to make him feel guilty or claims that I am lying. He says they are not struggling - they are always so happy with him (of course they are - HE is what they are missing!) I am in a no-win situation with H, so I simply don't even mention it to him anymore.
How do I deal with my anger? I remind myself that even though they are struggling, just like me, they will survive and thrive because I will be there for them. And I also remind myself that H is not there to see the destruction he is causing, but he is also not there to enjoy all the amazing moments and memories that I am building with our kids. HE is the one missing out!
Hang in there! I feel for you, really. It can and WILL get better because you will be there for them and standing strong!
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
