I've been thinking about my health insurance for the month of January.
Originally when I was supposed to go on Cobra, my first payment wasn't until February.
My w wants me to pay for all of January - even though I didn't find out mid January.
Originally I had said yes.
Both my mom and sister asked why I would do that? My initial response was because its no longer my w's place to take care of me......
..... and whilst I believe that to be true, I wonder if paying for January is saving her from the consequences of her actions.
My w mentioned that she couldn't afford to pay my insurance during mediation in October. Rather than discussing options with me. She just took me off. She didn't look into if she could legally do that. She didn't care if I couldn't afford the Cobra.
And although I understand those feelings, I kinda feel that the fact she now has to pay December is a consequence of her not doing things the right way.
She told me on the phone that she had "no idea... and that her HR sukks"
So what? She is a grown adult. I feel those are just excuses. The fact remains that she did what she wanted.
I don't know. I'm just beginning to feel that I should only pay for when I became aware of the insurance reinstatement.
She will be pissed of course. Think I'm punishing her again for the D.
In actuality, I really just want to stop feeling the need to "save her" or feeling the fear that if I do what is fair to me.. it will piss her off.
I told myself if money wasn't an issue.. I would pay it no doubt.. but my sister was like "it's not about the money, it's about allowing your w to feel the consequences of her actions."
Do I truly believe that I should pick up the bill for January as a "I can take care of myself" move.. or should I stand my ground and say "I will pay from when you made me aware of it".
Urgh.. this kinda of growth is really hard..
M(f): 43 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
